Ghost

It was late at night, around 1am. I locked my door, a cigarette in my mouth, and went out to buy some marshmallow. Partly because I wanted to eat some, partly because I had nothing to do and didn't feel like sleeping, partly because I haven't been out of my apartment for two days. This much of staying indoors, alone, is normal to me. I don't have any work that requires me to go out, and don't really have any friend, anyway. Here's a photo I took earlier in the day, but I think it will do as a demonstration.
As I went on this 2km walk to the nearest 24h supermarket, I couldn't help but noticed that the streets are particularly quiet, even for 1am at night. I guess I had only went out like this at night on Saturdays and Fridays (alone, going to the supermarket too), and today was Monday, so I guess it makes sense. Today was what I thought I would and wanted to see then, on those walks I did before. And those nights before were what I prepared to encounter today. Life has a way around it, or rather, around me.
I smoked the cigarette until it turned off on its own. I have never done that before. I always stop when it about to reach the tip, as a habit, cause I didn't wanted to smoke the cotton of the tip. However, the cotton didn't burn, and it tasted good until the end. I guess from now on I will smoke until the tip then, at least with these Lucky Strike Red.
In my head I was calculating how many packs of marshmallow worth would I need to buy a pack of cigarettes. I assumed marshmallow would cause 3 to 4 euros, and a pack of cigarettes is 12, so 3 to 4 packs. Cigarettes are really expensive here in Finland.
I met a bunny, a huge one to boot, on my way through the grass close to the library.
If you zoom in, you can see its eyes wide open, very wild eyes. It made me compared those animalistic features to humans. Now, in hindsight, sitting in my apartment with my laptop writing this, it feels much different, but at the time I was walking next to it, stopping to observe it, I couldn't help but to think that humans and bunnies are not so different. It went out to eat at night, when all the scary giants have gone to sleep. I did the same thing.
Took me a while to figure out the way to the supermarket, since the gate I normally go into at daytime was locked at night. I didn't remember that I had to go through the back.
I was considering taking my hood off or unzip my jacket. The forecast said it felt like 1 degree Celsius but it really didn't feel like that, especially when I was just walking. I decided not to, since my hair was a mess.
I got my marshmallow. These birds also come out in hordes at night, looking for food.
On the way back, as I was strolling through the same path, I saw the same shadow, sitting on a bench in the park next to the road, again. But looking at it again, there was nobody there. 

Hell, there wasn't even a bench there in the first place. I know the photo is a bit off, but there is a park to the right.
And then, I heard: "Aren't you scared of me?"
I reply, in my head: "I'm not. Since if you are a ghost, you can only be at most as lonely as me. We live our lives invisible, watching people lives go by, never and never could talk or communicate with them in any way. To me, seeing people, seeing life, is just like seeing a movie. A long long movie where I can only watch and can do nothing to involve myself. A long long movie where I want to be someone else but can't due to the stream of causality, due to the role I have chosen for myself. The safety net for failure is shrinking as the world moves faster; you wouldn't have time to catch a break, yet here I am, doing nothing, because there is nothing to do, and I'm so anxious I could die. So who is scarier? You? Or this prison? If I were you, I scare people for fun. That's what you're doing anyway, right? I have no balls to end myself, and my biological programming keeps me doing the things I do to survive. So, aren't you scared of me?"
And he flew away, hiding behind a tree.