Parting ways with one of my friends
Next week is exam week but I don't have any exam, so it's a lunar new year break for me.
Some fish or vertebrate clone physically themselves when they're lonely. This behavior hasn't been found in mammals in terms of physicality, but socially, I believe mammals also "clone", or a better word for it is to talk to, themselves. I am a case study of that behavior.
When I'm alone, to make my thoughts less biased and to judge them more objectively, I'm writing to myself, so I can read the thoughts with my eyes; I'm talking to myself outloud, so I can hear them with my ears.
The power comes not only from superior physical bodies but extraordinary social bonds, as there is a limit for a population for a given context. Human, the most successful species up to date, made their way to the top of the food chain by collaboration to alter their given context, creating room for physical improvement. This is the power of social bonds which is abundant in surviving and thriving species and can be seen in most variants of ants, fishes, birds, and other mammals. I was mistaken in believe that mammals have superior physical and social capabilities. The physcial and social aspects exist in all surviving species, and mammals don't have any extraordinary perk just because they can't reproduce asexually. Natural selection doesn't have to be fair, and it is not like mammals is on top of the food chain. Eventually life will show itself as a cycle of life and death, so not in a pyramid shape.
Now comes the main part of today's story.
I was chatting with this dude I'm friend with since highschool. In hindsight, we have never really understood each other, but we were on the same boat back then, so we hanged out, and the friendship lasted, until now. He is currently stuck in the mindset of wanting to reproduce with as many women as possible, and in my view he is missing out on the social aspect and the physical ceiling of reproduction and how that can help the next generation of human. In fact, I believe that he is not reasoning about anything at all, and justify all his wants through his feeling. To be honest, that way of thinking has a charm of its own, and I also used to think that way. But again, to be honest, it is also a irresponsible and immature way of thinking. Irresponsible and immature towards other people and your own future self. You are robbing yourself of opportunities while you should be creating more of those. You are hurting people who care about you along the way of doing that. I believe that you don't fully understand the extents of what you are wishing for. You can't even manage to see a tiny corner of the dream of wealth and sexual fantasy you are dreaming of, because you don't see the hardship, the whole truth behind the success, not to mention which side effect comes along with that kind of success.
Then again, I am also doing the things which my feelings are telling me to. I can't help but fall in love with some girls and not some other girls. Luckily for me, I can justify logically if I should feel this way. There were many times when I couldn't. But eventually, I realized my logical reasoning was aligned with my bare desires all along. My version of truth. My friend probably also has his own version of truth. It just doesn't align with mine. I have used every bit of logic in my arsenal to try to reconcile but our differences had turned out to be too great. It is always sad to lose a friend.
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